is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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