Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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