I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
