We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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