she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize