I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
