P.S. I can't hear my feet
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
