i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
