What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
