Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
