I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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