His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
