I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
