bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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