Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
