that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize