does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize
