Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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