Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
