was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize