ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Is Oprah even human
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
