You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
