my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
