so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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