I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
