i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i barfeds in our rink
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
