I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
