Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
