omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
