rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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