do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
