This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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