either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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