My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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