Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
His hands were made for my vagina.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
