i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
