Where is the hickey?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
