I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
