would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
