There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
