i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
