Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
