somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
