thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
