on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We are all done wearing pants today
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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