all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Randomize
