I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We left the knife in your bed.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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