rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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