i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
