A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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