community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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