he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I deserve this hangover.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
