that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
