the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
