Walk of Shame. In a state park.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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