Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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