My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
