We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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