Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
