nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
