Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
