"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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