So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
