He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
